Request 637
by irishileana
Summary: What exactly was it that convinced her to date James Potter that very first time? Was it his fantastic hair? His sparkling wit? Or was it just his pathetic personality? A little dialogue for your personal amusement.


Disclaimer: I don't own James, Lily, or the world they live in. My initials are MCR, not JKR.

On the other hand, I could be a screamo band.

In any case, don't own, and also don't own the Friends quote.

* * *

"I, uh . . . also need two."

"Really? Who's Number Two?"

"_Whose Number Two_ . . . one of the more difficult games sewer workers play."

-_Friends_

"Evans."

"Fathead."

"Evans, will you go out with me?"

"Potter, will you stop harassing me?"

"I will if you go out with me."

"I wish."

"I'll make it worth your while."

"I wish."

"I'll take you for a carriage ride!"

"I wish."

"Would you please stop saying that?"

"You wish."

"Ah, my little Lily of the Valley, that's what I've always loved about you. Your sparkling wit."

"Sod off."

"Another fantastic jibe from the valley!"

"God, that's worse than Evans."

"Lily then?"

"Brilliant."

"So how about that date?"

"The chances are as fat as your head."

"What?"

"Fat chance."

"Lily, darling, I only want _one_ chance. One chance to show you that I'm not such a bad guy."

"Last week you pulled Severus Snape's robes over his head, tied them around his waist, and then turned his revealed underpants red and gold with a lion's head in the middle, which roared to the onlookers that you were the greatest wizard of all time and no man will ever show you comeuppance."

"Ah, well, that was Snivellus. And anyway, lions never lie."

"That's bees."

"Would you like me to give you a bee?"

"You really know what a girl wants."

"Yeah. Me."

"I believe it's about time for me to tell you to sod off again."

"Anything sounds magical when it comes from your lips."

"Sod off."

"Oh, glorious day! Lily Evans just told me to sod off!"

"Is that supposed to make me want to go out with you?"

"Well, it could. Someday you'll cave."

"No, I don't believe I will. Potter, I've said it before and I'll say it again. You are an arrogant pig with a head the size of one of Hagrid's Halloween pumpkins. Every time someone mentions your name I want to throw up! You can try and try all you like, you can show off your so-called amazing Quidditch skills and say it's all for me, you can get every one of your little friends to have a go at convincing me, but I will never, EVER go out with you!"

"But—"

"And another thing! YOUR HAIR LOOKS REALLY, REALLY STUPID LIKE THAT!"

"What?!"

"YOU HEARD ME! GO GET A DAMN COMB!"

". . ."

"That's right."

". . ."

"Potter?"

". . ."

"Potter . . ."

". . ."

"Potter, are you . . . crying?"

"N-no!"

"You are!"

"What's it t-to you?"

"Well, I didn't mean to . . . crap . . ."

"Can't you j-just h-hear me out?"

". . ."

"Lily, p-please go out with m-me! I know I'm a j-jerk and I'm n-not your t-t-type or anything. And app-pparently m-my h-h-hair looks awf-f-ful as w-well. B-but I'm cr-crazy about y-you! All I w-w-want to d-do is be . . . be . . ."

"Be what?"

"Be . . ."

"Be _what_?!"

"Be your Number Two!"

". . ."

"L-Lily?"

". . ."

"Evans?"

". . ."

"Would you mind not laughing at the deepest thing I've said in my entire life?"

". . ."

"That hurts."

"Oh, for God's sake! Who could say no to something like that? Yes, Potter, you prat, I'll go out with you!"

"Really?!"

"Fine. Next Hogsmeade weekend. Meet me in front of the Three Broomsticks at 10:00."

"That's an actual day! An actual place! An actual time!"

"No kidding."

"Can I kiss you now?"

"No."

". . ."

"Mmmfph!"

". . ."

". . ."

". . ."

"Potter, I thought I told you not to kiss me."

"I know. But the timing seemed right."

"It wasn't. Do you want me to call the whole thing off?"

"No!"

"I didn't think so."

"But . . . well, Ev—I mean, Lily. You've never said yes before. What made you change your mind? Was it my sparkling wit?"

"Potter, I've got to tell you. It rhymes with wit."

* * *

**Author's Note: See? Not in love yet, but at least he's got a chance! This one, alas, did NOT make the cut for this year's Olympics, simply because I couldn't make the length fit into the categories. You try writing a 100-word drabble. I figured I'd post it anyway, mostly because a few people actually expressed an interest in reading it.**


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